Tough Parenting

Last December, I warned Laurel not to go into my closet because I had presents hidden away. I warned her that if she did, the presents I had purchased from us would need to go back to the store. I thought I had gotten through to her, but one day she decided to hide from her brother in my closet. I found her right as she realized what she had done. Now, as a parent, these are tough moments. I knew that it was truly an accident, but I had to follow through on what I had told her. She claimed she hadn't seen anything specific, but I had no way to know for certain what she had and had not seen. After all, this large mermaid doll was right in the middle of my closet floor. I couldn't imagine she hadn't seen that doll!

Well, I was disappointed that she had forgotten because now I had to take back multiple gifts that I had spent the time and effort shopping for. I took everything back, except for this mermaid shown above. Each time I would go to take it back, I'd get this huge lump in my throat because I knew how much she wanted it. This mermaid ended up sitting in my closet for an entire year!

After one year, I could no longer return this to the store. I decided we should donate the doll to Toys For Tots. Laurel's school did a big toy drive this year, so I thought we could drop the donations off at the school. I spoke with Laurel, which was extremely difficult for me. She cried (as you can see in the picture) and I nearly caved in. My heart was broken, but probably not as much as hers. She told me that she hadn't seen the doll last year, which made it even more difficult. She had asked for a large mermaid doll last year, so I was thrilled when I actually found one at Wal-Mart for under $10. Dale found two girls on his front door step in tears. I felt so bad about the whole thing. Dale intervened and made sure that we followed through with what we said we would do.

I sat with Laurel a few minutes and talked with her about the situation. I told her that the doll was more age appropriate for a 3 year old little girl. As much as she felt she needed that doll, I helped her to see that there was a little girl out there who would be elated and thrilled to receive that beautiful mermaid doll on Christmas morning. As difficult as this whole situation was, it was a great teaching moment for me as a parent.

We loaded the car with the gifts (we had 3 other gifts to donate that we received as doubles last year). As we drove to the school, we talked some more about the reason for Christmas. She was still a little sad, but as we pulled into the school parking lot, her mood completely changed. She saw a group of children unloading toys from cars, as well as Santa Claus. She was so excited by what she saw. If you know Laurel, you know that she has a huge heart and loves to give and to share.

I barely got the car in park before she was out the door and in the trunk. She reached for that large mermaid doll and she immediately handed that doll over to Santa's helpers. The other toys followed, but they weren't as difficult to give since she already had them at home. I was so proud of her at that moment.

We got back in the car and she told me, "mom, did you see that little girl standing in front of the doll? She really wanted that doll and I could see how happy it made her. This feels so good!" What she didn't understand is that the little girl who took the doll from her was not the one who would receive it, but I wanted her to remember that moment just the way she had experienced it so I let her think that thought. The whole car ride home was spent listening to how happy she was to see someone else so happy.

The following week, Laurel came home from school and told me that, "it's better to give than to receive." They had read a story in school that taught that principle, which stuck with her. I reminded her that she had already experienced that this Christmas as she gave that which was most difficult to give. I'm grateful for my children who teach me so much about life each day.